This Way To My Blog

This Way To My Blog

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Stroke-Segment Five

The company wasn't the same anymore. Two bosses had died, Mel's Dad was gone, Mel's brother had gone on to a better job. Mel was thinking along these lines but couldn't bring himself to actually apply anywhere. One night his cousin who worked for a very large research institution was at our house. I ask him if they had any openings for Mel's line of work. He said yes in Buildings and Grounds. He said write a resume for him and write down everything he knows how to do. I didn't even have a typewriter so we sat at the table and I wrote everything we could think of that he had done. Can you imagine applying for a job after working at the same place for so many years? After having a devastating stroke? Mel with his handwritten resume applied. Only a few days and he was called for an interview. He came home with high hopes. More money, good benefits, no calls in the midde of the night and holidays, no working on Saturday except once a month he would have to go out twice on Saturday and twice on Sunday just to check the boilers and equipment. He got the job, we were both elated. This work place was like a small town. They had their own bank, cafeteria, photo lab etc. I wish I could remember how many acres this entailed. Deer roamed there and they did not allow hunting on the place. I loved going with him when he had to make a check of the buildings on his week-end. Peaceful reading or just thinking and watching for the deer. It usually didn't take long going from building to building. Most time things were running smoothly. He worked there long enough to be vested into his retirement plus one year. We had a taste of hog heaven, well it didn't take much to make us happy anyway. Then the boom fell. I was told I needed a historectomy (sp). I needed a second opinion. We drove across town to the medical center to get the second opinion and I was told surgery was not neccessary. I wanted to celebrate. We drove to our side of town to a steak house and had a nice meal. On the way home we were about to cross a busy street and Mel said I wish this traffic would hurry and move on I don't feel well. As the light changed and we started across I looked down for some reason and when I looked back up we were heading for the Sears parking lot. We went over the curb and sidewalk, sideswiped a Sears truck at the garage and I could see us heading for the building. I tried to get to the brake but it was my little Ford Fairlane sports coupe with the console in the middle and he had on cowboy boots. I was terrified and I just couldn't do it. I sat straight up and waited to hit the building but instead we hit a car parked and that stopped us. Mel came to himself just for a moment. He said I must have blacked out. He reached over and turned the engine off. I hadn't even thought of that. He blacked out never to know anything again. People had gathered in a circle but didn't know what to do I guess I jumped out and started bathing Mel's face with a baby wipe. A man came out throwing a fit. The car we hit he had borrowed. I felt so bad. Bad for Mel, bad for the man seeing the car smashed. Finally a firemen who was a few cars behind us and had seen the whole thing got there and started with emergency care. They wouldn't take him to the hospital near his doctor. They had to take him to one nearer. I wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance but they wouldn't let me. Odd feeling, nothing I could do. I will tell you one thing when I hear a siren I move over because I know someone's loved one is in that ambulance. When we got to the hospital they took me into a small room and the ambulance driver came through and patted me on the head and said a few words to me. I was beginning to realize things were not good, not good at all. A manager from a department at Sears that remembered me from when I worked there as a PBX operator called my son-in-law and Mel's brother. My oldest daughter was eight months pregnant with her first child and my youngest was living in Germany. Youngest and her family was flown home on a cargo plane. Mel lived four days but never knew any of us as far as we know. I need to stop now I'm getting a knot in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I didn't write this to make anyone feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for myself. I have much to be thankful for. One being that Mel didn't live as a vegetable because he always said he didn't want that. Back then if anyone had told me I would be living in a small town naming a cow Shelly Marie, dodging cactus thorns and cow patties. Excuse me now I must get back to my cushey (cushy) life.

25 comments:

Missie said...

I can't imagine......
sending you hugs.

Cindi said...

the stresses you had to face during this time of your life...over whelming...you deserve your cushy life...enjoy!

garnett109 said...

tears are n my eyes now
hugz buddy!

Kath said...

Awwww Paula you deserve a medal enduring all that.My heart was aching reading this.Poor girl.I cannot help but feel sorry .Sorry about that but thats the person I am.You deserve everything you have now and prayers always it contunues to last for many more years.Take Care God Bless Kath xx

sober white women said...

Nikki and I were at the hospital last year and she had to wait forever because a bunch of ambulances had come in. Nikki said " I will wait, my dad was one of those that came in by ambulance and I am glad he got treated first.
Kelli

Lisa said...

You have me in tears, what a sad story. Mel was a true man - I'm happy to have had the chance to get to know him through your words.
Rest in Peace Mel.

Alice said...

Hi Paula. I know how painful and sad it has to be for you to write about that time in your life. Wishing you the best "cushy" life always.

AGirlNexDoorCreation said...

Big hugs friend...Mel sounds like he was a good man...wishing you well hun..hugs,TerryAnn

Lisa said...

Thank you Pauline for sharing your beloved with us. I know you are a wonderful lady and you were a good wife to him and to the wonderful man you have now. I am glad he was able to have that nice job for at least a time. I can see you both watching the beautiful deer together. I am glad you have found the blessings in life which overshadow the bad. I too am determined to do that in my own life. You are a good example to me.
Lisa

Jean said...

Paula I’m glad you shared this with all of us it made tears in my eyes you were a wonderful wife to a good man. Take care, jean

madcobug said...

That was good that Mel didn't have to live a long time not knowing anything or anybody. God knew what he was doing when he took him right on out of it all. Enjoy your life Paula. You deserve it. Hugs, Helen

Joyce said...

It's difficult enough to deal with losing a loved one, but to go through all you went through with the stroke etc. and then lose him anyway must have been devastating. Big (((HUGS))) to you my friend.
Joyce

Kelly said...

I cannot begin to imagine what you went through. I only know it had to be a hard row to hoe. I think everyone has hard times in their life, most everyone anyway. Some harder than others. Its just that some of us are lucky enough to be able to find a place in life to go on again...like you did. If thats cushy then so be it.

Donna said...

Thanks for writing this. It occurs to me often that, at our ages, something like this could happen to either me or Cliff. We need to enjoy every day.

Again, thanks.

Ora said...

Hi Paula...yes...each day is a gift from God..and we should treasure it..along with our loved ones...Mel sounds like someone who would maky MY life a better place...I can only admire what a wonderful life the both of you had together..you are a very strong individual..and it shows..and I for one am glad you live in a cow town...have a cow named Shelly Marie..and you write such wonderful stories about your goings on now..I am happy I found you...if only thru our "journals" and/or "blogging"...either way..I come out a winner...God Bless...hugs..Ora ps...by the time I had read all this I was getting a big lump in my throat too..!!!!

Paula said...

Thank you Paula for sharing that with us. Had to be difficult to write that out, to express what you were feeling during that period of your life. And yet, maybe it was good that you did get it out, put it out in the world and released it from yourself. Next time you see your friend that said you have a cushy life, give her the raspberries from ME! :-0

Shirl 72 said...

Paula glad you shared this part of your life
with us. You deserve a cushy life.

Shirl

MISSY said...

That had me in tears Ms. Paula and there is nothing wrong with people empathizing with you. We all need some support sometimes and if anyone accuses you of needing pity or living the cushy life tell them to go "fly a kite". (I'm trying to behave). We all have had hurtful moments in our lives and it means a lot for you to share that with us.

I couldn't imagine how scary that was for you and how sad it was to loose your husband. I know that had to have been hard on you. I'm so glad that you have John to share your life with now and that you have the opportunity to relax and enjoy life. Sending love your way. *M*

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com

jack69 said...

I'M NOT GOING TO CRY.(MAYBE) It must be unbelieveable to be in a car with your mate and see it out of control and you cannot get control. But then I take enventory, you have had such a cushy life! Bless you girl, John is a lucky guy! I bet he knows it. Us guys know when we have a good thing (most of the time).
Jack

Rose said...

our past makes us who we are, Paula. And you are one special lady!

Sheila said...

Thank you for sharing a little of your back history with us. You deserve to enjoy your days with John. Take care, Sheila

Tabby said...

Im trying not to cry. I am glad you got to have Mel for the time that you did. From your story he sounds like a good, kind, wonderful husband. I am glad you have John in your life now too.

Fernan said...

Your story living loving life’s turns has touched our hearts and gripped our souls. We know our days are numbered and we wake to each new day given as if it were another first. The best we can give each other is that little bit of romancing what had drawn us together in the beginning. Meanwhile we live the gift of live we share with each other for as long as it lasts, no warranties or guarantees, we’ll hold dear what has been given.
Fernan and Frieda

Gerry said...

I promised myself I would get back here as soon as I could and read these five segments about Mel's 2 strokes. I relate somewhat from going through back surgery and lung cancer with Pierre, but this went deep. He was younger, the father of your children, a good husband who did not smoke or drink! You must have asked yourself many times, why him? But I think that you took very good care of him, so that is probably why he recovered as well as he did and was able to go back to work, even get another job, and have some more time with you. You told the story so well I could see it all, sad as it was. Well, it seems like we have several lives in one, as our lives change so much with every companion. But I think it is good that you have come back and find things to enjoy in your life now and are here for your children. After losing him, they really needed you to stay alive! Gerry

I Have Tea said...

paula, darlin, i hope you ARE living a cushy life, or at least something near it, because after all you've been through, you deserve it.

many hugs,

mara