This Way To My Blog

This Way To My Blog

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Stroke Segment Three

I had a talk with my daughter in college to tell her it wasn't neccesary for her to drive home every week-end. I was so worried of her having car trouble on the highway and there was no way we could go to rescue her. We were not use to asking for help or hiring people, we were a team and now we were broken. I told her I would call her if there was any change in her Dad, good or bad. People didn't have cell phones hanging off their ears back then. We had not even heard of such thing. Couldn't imagine driving around talking on a phone. Long distance calls were expensive so we called when necessary. One week-end while Mel was home the toilet backed up into the bath tub. Now this was certainly just what I needed to see at this time. Remember we didn't even think of calling a plumber. We took care of repairs etc. Mel the repairer and me the side kick, gofer, hander of tools etc. Mel told me to climb up the ladder to the vent pipe and run the snake into it. The snake being (for someone who doesn't know) a metal long tape. Me being afraid of heights renigged. Mel said if you don't I am going too. Now I'm really scared. If he falls off the ladder while home visiting what is the doctor going to say, what is the hospital going to say? So with my knees shaking I climb the ladder to the top rung but do not step over onto the house. I don't know how I was able to do it but I ran that snake into the vent pipe and lobed it up and down. I can't remember all the details but we got it unstopped. Yuck yuck yuck now the horrible mess to clean up in the bath tub and then sterilize it. Clean myself up, cook supper, and drive him back to the hospital. I don't remember how long he stayed in that hospital but when he came home he was better but he still couldn't work, drive etc. He had therapy to do at home such as driving nails into a board or screwing screws into a board. That was a cold rainy year for south Texas. Sometime high school daughter's lock on the car would freeze up and while she was getting ready for school I would boil water to melt the ice in the lock and some time the old car wouldn't start so I would drive her to school after getting Mel started on his therapy which he didn't always want to do. Then come home to drive him across town to therapy. At noon I would go back to school, pick daughter up, take her by the house to eat lunch, and then down town to her job typing for an attorney. Come home do laundry or take mother-in-law to an appointment or for groceries. My father-in-law had passed away. M-i-l was diabetic and not dealing well with things in her life. Her youngest son was severly mentally retarded .I know you are suppose to call it mentally challenged now. Let me tell you folks I know from experience it means the same thing. Irvin was a good young man, never tried to run away, and didn't do mean things but his mother had spoiled him. His life was watching TV, rocking in his chair, eating, drinking coke, and pretending he could play his old guitar. He weighed almost 300 # so this is why we bought a ford LTD as our first new car as they and all their groceries along with ours fit into that car. I took them to all their doctor appointments, dentist appointments, eye appointments, etc. She would buy three cartons of the very large cokes. I don't even think they make those anymore. They were heavy. She tried to help carry in the groceries but she was slow and he was slow so I carried the most. I was the one in the family who didn't work so that chore fell to me. We had our house with 19 windows to keep clean, curtains, blinds and windows. A rental duplex next door that was effieciency apartments so people only stayed until they bought their own house or had a baby what ever. My job was to clean it for new renters, never thought of charging a deposit. Mowed and trimmed the yard as it didn't work out to have them do it. There was always those who would only mow their side or those who didn't mow at all etc. Then there was the large rent house catty cornered across from our house. I figured I had a job I just didn't draw a salary and didn't have a boss. Mel did the repairs and I did the cleaning and painting before he had the stroke. There were two other daughters-in-law but one lived out of town and one was the R.N. who worked for the new doctor. She did make diabetic TV dinners for m-i-l on her days off and put them in the freezer. On grocery days m-i-l and b-i-l wanted to stop on the way home to buy fish and chips for lunch. I felt for them with not much of a happy life. Her doctor found out what she was eating fussed at nurse d-i-l and then she told her husband (Mel's older brother) he told Mel and Mel had to tell me not to stop anymore for fish and chips. When I had to tell her no she got very angry with me. More stress! One day we were at the grocery store and Mel started feeling very ill. M-i-l was in line with a cart full of groceries to feed an army. I was always worried he was going to have another stroke. I didn't feel I could ask her to leave her cart of groceries, yet I was worried about Mel as I had told him to go to the car and lie down. To be continued.

12 comments:

Ora said...

Oh Paula...I read this and my mouth falls open...what a stressful time you lived with...God Bless...hugs..Ora

Janie said...

That had to be so hard Pauline. Just taking care of my step-dad when he had brain surgery had me a nervous wreck and I lost 8 pounds in 8 weeks. No one could help him but me. I understand about your MIL. My step-dad was so mean to me. I am sure that you felt like you were being torn in pieces! You had a lot to take care of. You were both so young to go through that. Prayers, Janie

garnett109 said...

wow,they were tough times

Lisa said...

You have stepped up to the plate ten fold in your life and did what had to be done and you are to be commended for that. I can't imagine the family without you, and I can't imagine the stress that was put on you. I know what carrying a burden is - I know we don't like to say the word burden but you know what I mean. I am looking forward to the next segment, this is very interesting reading.

Kath said...

Poor Paula you did have your hands full I must say.However did you cope,we wonder this at times but we do don't we.Prayers for you always looking forward to the next posting.Have a lovely relaxing day you deserve one.Take Care God Bless Kath xx

jack69 said...

Amazing how tough a cookie can be! You have done great, life wise and in the telling of the story. We are all waiting again like I did on Saturday mornings at the show waiting for the serial.
Jack (I can tell you have had it so easy, no wonder you are spoiled! LOL)

Alice said...

Paula, I have no idea how you did all that. Amazing ........

Tabby said...

You sure stepped up to the plate and really managed things. Sorry to hear how tough it was though. Take care!
Tabatha

Martha said...

Well Paula, you sure did a lot of things I bet you never thought you could or would ever have to do - it reminds me a lot of things in my own life - maybe someday I'll tell about it too.

MISSY said...

It's amazing how quickly things can change. I don't think of how much my boyfriend and I rely on one another. If something happened to one of us, I think the other would be lost for a while. *M*

http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com

Joyce said...

Sounds to me like you were a work horse and, salary or not, the hardest worker in the family. I sure hope you were appreciated for all you did during this stressful time in your life.
Hugs, Joyce

Lisa said...

We sure do have something in common ... I worked a cleaning company we owned for several years while we lived in Florida and oh my goodness the dirt we found in those apartments. People do not clean like they used to. I was always delighted when someone cleaned an apartment when they moved out and when it didn't need so much work... but most of them were hours and hours of back breaking scrubbing. I wore out my elbow doing that but it was good quiet and honest work. I remember thinking how I could really get some good thinking done while cleaning those apartments. The best part is we started taking on more apartment complexes when we could get them and eventually I just had to supervise and do hiring and follow ups. I should do it again. We made a killing. But when people no show for work that was not pleasant at all or if they did a bad job of it cleaning and then the manager was upset and we had to fix it. I had to stay right on top of everyone we hired and make sure they did their job and have someone behind them lined up to take their place when they didn't do a good job.
Lisa