My Lemon Chicken Rumbled

John took me to the Chinese place for Lemon Chicken for Valentine's Day. I was thinking of a nap when we got home but there is no rest for the wicked as they say. His ideas frighten me big time. He told me he was going to take his riding lawn mower to the small engine repair place and I say how are you going to get it down there? Will it start? I'm thinking he is going to try to drive it across town and  that is a scary thought. No, he is going to load it on the Ford Ranger. I say you can't lift that big thing. He says I'm going to drive it on there. How? He is going to back up to the curb and lay a board down to the tail gate and drive it up. Now that board is wide but not wide enough for those big wheels. He brags he has loaded all kinds of tractors in his time. Yes but you were younger then and could see and hear. Of course he needed me to watch in case the wheels were about to run off the board. He did it, but without any room to spare. One false move and he and the lawn mower were gone. With the tool box across the back it barely fit and the tail gate wouldn't close. Now the problem of being sure it didn't roll off the back and onto the street if he hit a bump. He finally found a sprinkler hose and tried to tie it on with that. Now look here is an opening in the back if you could hook something in there and take it around to that hole in the pick-up that might hold it. Now the way I see it he needed to keep it from going backward not forward. It was already tight against the tool box so it couldn't go anywhere that way. Well what do I know? He finally figured it out and chained it. He wants me to follow him. So what do I do if it falls off honk? He left and took the car keys so to follow him I have to find my keys and get my truck out of the garage. By the time I get to the small engine repair he is no where in sight. when I get there he is no where in sight so I come home to wait thinking he went another route and lost it somewhere along the way. I just knew there would be a phone message but there was none so I though maybe he decided to go to Tim-Buck-Too. He got it down there and they unloaded it sooo now when he brings it home there is the fiasco of unloading it backing it down that small board onto the curb. At least my Lemon Chicken has settled down.